This post is the second in a two-part series. Please click here for The sacrifice of the Mass Part 1.
Like many prison systems, this one learned long ago that television is a cost-effective tool for controlling prisoners. Prisoners can order a small television from an approved vendor, and the commissary profits pay for basic cable throughout the prison. Many prisons went this route years ago, and it saves enormous amounts of money. Prisoner TVs cost the taxpayers nothing. Without television, the size of the prison staff would have to double.
The sole television model that prisoners here can purchase is a small twelve inch “flat-screen” that sells for $200. That represents up to ten months’ pay for prison labor. Prisoners here earn between $1.00 and $2.00 per day depending on their job. There are far more prisoners than available jobs, however, so jobs – just as in the outside world – are not so easy to find these days.
Nonetheless, virtually every prisoner with a sentence longer than a few years will scrape and save to purchase a TV. It is seen as an indispensable link to the outside world. As a group, prisoners may surprise you about their viewing habits. There is very little interest in crime dramas. Most prisoners have lived their own, and don’t want to bother with someone else’s. Contrary to popular prejudice, they don’t root for the criminals in police shows either.
Most prisoners, even many of the younger ones, spend enormous amounts of time watching the news – either CNN or FOX. I think it belies some hope for them that they are deeply concerned for the affairs of the world.
A lot of people outside of here ask me what I watch on television. Okay, I’ll come clean. There are five programs I hate to miss: “Battlestar Gallactica,” “Lost,” “24,” “The Unit,” and the History Channel’s “The Universe.” There, I’ve said it! My sister calls them “guy shows,” and has no clue what I’m talking about when I mention a gripping episode. Two of my favorites are gone now, and two others are on hiatus until January 2010. It’s a long wait for Jack Bauer to save the world again.
I find most of everything else on commercial television to be disappointing, but if you want to recommend something I’ll give it a try.
I spend most of my time reading, but in the evening I also tune in to Hannity’s discussions and Greta Van Sustern on FOX News.
“The World Over” with Raymond Arroyo on EWTN was also a favorite. In April, 2005, I was riveted to Raymond Arroyo’s superb coverage of Pope John Paul’s death and very moving funeral Mass, and then the election of Pope Benedict XVI. Two of my regular correspondents then were Cardinal Dulles and Father Richard Neuhaus, and they were commentators with Mr. Arroyo.
Their commentary was excellent. I was moved to tears as I watched the coffin containing Pope John Paul II being carried away in final commemoration. Every Catholic prisoner here – even those long estranged from their Church – was silently riveted to their television screen.
EWTN’s Raymond Arroyo is American Catholicism’s best foot forward in broadcast media. He appeared on CNN one night at the very peak of vilification of the Church during the sex abuse scandal. Among the news commentators, his was a lone and compelling voice of reason and Gospel truths in the finest Catholic tradition. Raymond Arroyo deserves our attention.
AMONG OLD FRIENDS
For many Catholic prisoners, television is also a link to the life of the Church. It was providential that at about the very same time my Mass supplies were taken from me (see “The Sacrifice of the Mass: Part I), the local cable provider here began carrying EWTN for most of the day. For the next several years, my only access to daily Mass was the EWTN Mass for shut-ins. I think I qualify as a shut-in. At 8:00 AM each Sunday, and as many weekdays as possible, I “concelebrated” Mass with the Franciscan community in Irondale, Alabama. For an hour each morning, I was not in prison. I was before the Lord in the company of brothers.
Over time, I became most impressed with an older friar, Father Angelus Shaughnessey, and I wrote to him. Father Angelus responded with a gracious letter promising his prayers and inviting a regular correspondence. Father Angelus was often the celebrant, or a concelebrant, at the daily Mass, and he was a superb homilist. I felt I had come to know him through his letters and his frequent on-screen presence in my cell.
Also through EWTN, I renewed ties with an old friend, Father Benedict Joseph Groeschel . I have known Father Benedict since 1974. I spent my first four years of seminary formation with the Capuchin Province of St. Mary of which Father Benedict was a renowned member before he founded a reform group built on fidelity to the Rule of St. Francis. Father Benedict and I corresponded frequently before his more recent illness. He was very interested to learn that, through EWTN, he visited my cell at least weekly.
THE MASS IS ENDED
Then, suddenly, EWTN was gone. Early in 2008, EWTN converted to a digital signal ahead of the national transition that was to take place. To the dismay of many Catholic prisoners, EWTN was lost to us. The local cable company promised to restore it after the national transition to digital television, but that has not happened. EWTN is no longer available in the prison, and is deeply missed.
I am approached daily by Catholic prisoners asking how we can restore EWTN.
Without EWTN for daily Mass, I was stranded again. A friend challenged me to do all I can to regain the ability to celebrate the Eucharist. I wrote for an appointment with the current prison chaplain who told me he would approach prison officials for approval to have Mass supplies if our bishop also approved it.
I wrote to my bishop asking for his support to celebrate Mass in private in my cell. My bishop did not respond to my letter. He did, however, call the prison chaplain who conveyed to me the bishop’s position that it was never his intention that I be denied the opportunity for private Mass. With that affirmation, the chaplain met with the prison warden who readily approved my possession of Mass supplies. Charlene Duline located the Mass supplies I needed online, and had them shipped to the prison chaplain.
This all took a long time. Just last month, I received a Mass kit from the chaplain. When I brought it back to my cell and opened it, I was surprised to see that the stole that was taken from me four years ago was there. Somehow, it ended up with the prison chaplain, and spent four years in a desk drawer.
I celebrate Mass on Sunday night at 11:00 pm EST should you ever wish to join me in spiritual communion then.
New Hampshire |
I chose that time because this prison has “lock down” at 10 pm, and by 11:00 the cell block is quiet. Sometimes during the week I will also celebrate Mass at night when I can obtain the needed supplies. A few years ago, I received a letter from a layman who was very concerned about me. He wrote that he inquired of me with an official of my diocese and was told that I have abandoned my faith in prison and refuse all contact from my bishop and fellow priests. This could not be further from the truth.
In the Solar System of the life of the Church, I often feel as though I write from the Oort Cloud, but this is not about how I feel. The Sacrifice of the Mass brings into physical reality the sacrifice I try to make on a daily basis: the offer of suffering for the life of the Church. This was a serious challenge put to me by Cardinal Avery Dulles before his death, and it has been the center of every day in prison since. The Mass is an offering for ourselves, but it is also an offering OF ourselves. Cardinal Dulles wrote:
“I am sure that in the plans of divine Providence, your ministry of suffering is part of your priestly vocation, filling up for the Church ‘what is wanting in the suffering of Christ.’ Your writing, which is clear, eloquent, and spiritually sound, will be a monument to your trials.”
It took me a long time to get this, to understand that what has happened to me is not all about me. I owe a debt to Cardinal Dulles. Please pray for him with me.
Being in no hurry at Mass in my cell I like to use the Roman Canon, an ancient Eucharistic Prayer and up until the Second Vatican Council the only Canon of the Mass. It is most beautiful. I pray then for the readers of These Stone Walls. If you have posted comments here, then I often pray for you by name.
After Mass, I pray a Communion prayer by Padre Pio. It’s hard to hold on to things in prison, and I had lost the prayer for awhile, but it was recently sent to me again. I reproduce it here in its entirety because it’s a beautiful prayer, and speaks directly to the limits placed on life in troubled times and places. Perhaps you can print it for your own use:
Stay with Me, Lord
A Communion Prayer by St. Pio of Pietrelcina
Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have You present so that I do not forget You. You know how easily I abandon You.
Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak and I need Your strength, that I may not fall so often.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my life, and without You, I am without meaning and hope.
Stay with me, Lord, for You are my light, and without You I am in darkness.
Stay with me, Lord, to show me Your will.
Stay with me, Lord, so that I can hear Your voice and follow You.
Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love You ever more, and to be in Your company always.
Stay with me, Lord, if You wish me to be always faithful to You.
Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is, I wish it to be a place of consolation for You, a dwelling of Your love.
Stay with me, Jesus, for it is getting late; the days are coming to a close and life is passing. Death, judgment and eternity are drawing near. It is necessary to renew my strength, so that I will not stop along the way, and for that I need You. It is getting late and death approaches. I fear the darkness, the temptations, the dryness, the cross, the sorrows.
0 how I need You, my Jesus, in this night of exile!
Stay with me, Jesus, because in the darkness of this life, with all its dangers, I need You.
Help me to recognize You as Your disciples did at the Breaking of the Bread, so that the Eucharistic Communion be the light which disperses the darkness, the power which sustains me, the unique joy of my heart.
Stay with me, Lord, because at the hour of my death I want to be one with You, and if not by Communion, at least by Your grace and love.
Stay with me, Jesus. I do not ask for divine consolations because I do not deserve them, but I only ask for the gift of Your Presence. Oh yes! I ask this of You!
Stay with me, Lord, for I seek You alone, Your love, Your grace, Your will, Your Heart, Your Spirit, because I love You and I ask for no other reward but to love You more and more, with a strong and active love.
Grant that I may love You with all my heart while on earth, so that I can continue to love You perfectly throughout all eternity, dear Jesus. Amen!”
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
God bless you Father! Since finding your blog my eyes have been opened to the need for Catholic prison ministry. Within a week of discovering your blog three different mediums enlightened me.
I listened to a Catholic prison conversion story on CD from Lighthouse Catholic Media: No Escape – From Prison to the Catholic Church. A prisoner (Russell Ford ) converted to Catholicism and has converted quite a large number of Alabama prisoners through his RCIA classes. I believe he said he had 70 God sons.
Next I recieved a DVD I had ordered from Netflix, Road of Hope: The Spiritual Journey of Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan. A beautiful story of hope and love of a Vietnamese bishop wrongfully imprisoned. (This reminded me of your reference to He Leadeth Me, which I have not yet read).
Finally I read in my local Diocesan newspaper about a lay man who visits a local prison and ministers to the prisoners there once each month. I am a mother to eight children. One day I will be able to reach out in a physical way. I also feel called to minister to those in crisis pregnancies. However, I have no doubt what my calling is right now. I need to minister to my little (and big) ones and teach them about the persecuted, the lonely, the frightened and the imprisoned.
Know, Father, that you are in our prayers.
Dear Father,
I also love EWTN. is such a wonderful thing for so many attend Mass via EWTN. I especially like Marcus Grodi in The Journey Home. Fr. Corapi, and Fr. Mitch. What a blessing!!!!
All the programs have something to offer. Another source I like is Spirit Daily, Michael Browns website. His articles are thought provoking And like he says ” For your discernment.” May Jesus Christ King of All Nations breathe on you and bring you peace.
In His Name, Patricia I.O.L.
I am overjoyed that you have EWTN. God does answer our prayers. After all, EWTN is His network!
I did email Raymond A. and will do so again to let him know about this great news.
Despite the evil which exists in our world, God shows us His lovely face each and every day, if we have eyes to see Him. I know you Father MacRae have eyes to see Him.
God bless you and praise be to Our Lord and Savior for His kindness and His mercy.
Dear Father Gordon,
I am a missionary in Jamaica, in the West-Indies. I stumbled across your blog today. I just read and read. It was a busy day at chancery where I work as the Vicar General but once I saw your site, I could not stop reading..
There are only two canonists in this country, and I am one of them…So, I almost have the job at chancery almost by default. Nor merit of mine. Just a request that I serve there.
I belong to a small missionary diocesan order which operates a number of apostolates in our Diocese. I preach, I teach in a High School, I work with my confreres and try to serve the best I can in this part of the world. I chair a number of committees.
I am a Canadian by birth, but have been here in Jamaica for so many years. I have applied for citizenship. It is a beautiful country. Its people are wonderful. Yet there are many challenges here.
As I read about you, I really had tears in my eyes. And I wished, with every fibre of my being ,that I could do something to help you. I KNOW that you are a holy man. I am not the “pious type” but I know sanctity when I see it.
I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers EVERY DAY, especially at mass. I suppose many people say that to you too.
I guess words cannot express adequately what I felt when I read your story. Yes, I am writing to you, a total stranger. Yet, we are not. Because we a priests and thus share in the same priesthood and are united in the same Sacrifice of the Mass.
Remember in your prayers, if you can, Michael and his co-missionaries in Jamaica. I will pray for you. Every day.
your brother-priest in Jamaica,
In Christ’s Passion,
Msgr. Michael
Vicar general of the Diocese of Mandeville
Mission Society of Mandeville
I passed your prison about a month ago when visiting our daughter in New Hampshire. I prayed deeply and ached as I passed by. Our son too is a priest. Can you receive visitors? Would you like visitors? Do you already have many visitors? Would you like me to arrange for some visitors to visit you? I just read These Stone Walls” forwarded by Bill Wendell who lives in the town where we live in Ohio.
Sincerely,
Sharon Morris
That is wonderful news Father! I am so pleased for you.
Your good news prompted me again to look for EWTN on the computer. We are in the middle of gales here in Southern Britain so an ideal day for the Internet! We don’t have a channel like that in Britain. The last time I tried to get EWTN I could only get programmes in German and after this happened a few times I gave up. Probably pushed the wrong buttons as usual.
I’m pleased to say I have found it again in English and shall now try to find the programme listing.
During the Pope’s visit to the US I was able to follow the major ceremonies on EWTN (before it turned German on me!) and greatly enjoyed the commentaries of Raymond Arroyo and Fr Richard Neuhaus. I particularly remember one of them saying ‘Now that was an arrangement I have never heard before’ to one particularly terrible piece of music. A great understatement without being rude! But we all knew what he meant.
The Holy Father is due to visit Britain next year and perhaps you will be able to watch some of the visit on EWTN. I do hope so.
With grateful thanks for your prayers Father.
I want to thank Mary for her enthusiasm in emailing Raymond Arroyo at EWTN. It is a moot point as of today however. I returned from my job in the prison library and turned on my television to check the news, only to find EWTN on the screen!
I was overjoyed! It has been 18 months since I have seen EWTN and even then our cable system had it only from noon until 8 pm. I’m not sure if this is a result of some emails or lots of prayers, but the Concord NH cable system carries EWTN around the clock as of today.
This is wonderful! Of course you can still email Raymond Arroyo at Worldover at EWTN.com and let him know that he is mentioned with high praise in this week’s post.
Thanks and blessings to you all, and thanks again to Charlene for typing this for me and to Suzanne for her wonderful graphics. I do love the clock!
Fr. Gordon
Well, Fr. MacRae, I am just now getting to email and have just read your second installment on The Holy Sacrifice. How wonderful it is. You certainly are a remedy for those of us, your “virtual parishioners”, who are so lacking in good solid homilies by our dear but maybe poorly formed priests.
This being the Year of the Priest, I pray daily for each and every one of you. How horrid would my life be without my priest whose hands consecrate and deliver to me the Sacred Body and Blood of Our Lord in Communion.
I am so happy that you once again can offer the Mass even at a late hour in your cell. I live in the Central Time Zone and will keep you in my thoughts at 10 PM here on Sunday nights, and hopefully join you in prayer during this time.
EWTN has been a major part of my life since the Jubilee Year. It has been a source of teaching and affirming me in my faith, as well as a source of consolation in these troubling times. It would be a great loss indeed if I could not have it any longer. I will pray fervently for you Fr. that you will again have this restored to you.
I will email Raymond Arroyo and implore him to do what he can to help this situation. Your faith must be very great as you patiently accept these persecututions which accompany your unfair and very great suffering in prison. How painful it is to read about and to ponder, much less for you to endure.
The lovely prayer of St. Pio is one I will keep in my prayer book. I have never read this one before. Our Deacon was saying this last Sunday in his homily that too many people walk straight out of the Church after receiving Our Lord, without staying to give thanks and wait for the final blessing. Reverence is so lacking in our church.
I am thinking of printing this prayer and copying it and leaving it in the pews so that people can find it and say it. It is worth a try anyway. Thanks for passing it on to us.
I have enjoyed reading your posts Fr. and also the comments following them. I am grateful to be a small part of your Apostolate.
God bless you Fr. and thank you for keeping us in your prayers, as you are in ours.
First of all I want to thank Suzanne for installing a clock with New Hampshire time! Suzanne does amazing things with my blog. Of course, this was only described to me as I cannot see it.
I also want to thank Ros, Julie, Bernadette (I got your nice card, thank you), Karin, Regina, David, Esther, Jeannie, and Fr. Michael for your wonderful comments. They have been read to me by telephone just now, but they are also being printed and sent to me by Charlene who I also thank.
It’s important for me to be able to hold your comments in my hand and ponder them. I find that you all have profound thoughts, and I find myself re-reading them often and being inspired by them. I am especially moved that you would be joining me in Spiritial Communion at the time I celebrate Mass.
The actual time is about 11:20 pm because there is a final prisoner count of the day at about 11:15 and I wait for that to be completed. Please know that those of you who live in a time zone that places this very early in the morning can join me in Spiritual Communion at any time that you attend Mass. It would bother me greatly to think that you are getting less sleep than I am.
Your comments are life-saving and deeply appreciated. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Fr. Gordon
It is so funny/strange that you mentioned about the suffering not being about you. I was just watching a very old movie on St. Theresa de Lisieux (ironically on EWTN sorry) and when she was in the convent there were a number of nuns who were more than a little miffed at the Mother Superior who seemed strangely lacking in compassion, when Theresa took illness and was weak. Early on she had said that she had an ‘outstanding personality’ but had a great deal of pride.
As the hardships continued with the Mother Superior continually turning a blind eye many nuns were moved to indignation, including Theresa’s real sister, who was in the convent with her. The Mother Superior said that she was doing this to benefit Theresa and it might seem tough, but it was a kindness.
As Theresa lay dying she said with great sincerity to the Mother Superior that she was very much indebted to her for what she had done. The Mother Superior’s face was a study in love with tears in her eyes as she saw that this ‘little flower’ knew that the suffering was to be offered up to God and that it winnowed out the pride that was the only small blemish in that beautiful soul.
I do suspect that this incarceration is much bigger than you, especially with so many souls in there languishing or susceptible to other pulls on their soul that are spiritually destructive. Outside here it is almost as chaotic and nutty as in there, with our so called ‘leaders’ and ‘public servants’ completely divorced from the concept of inherent dignity of life and inherent purpose for each person. What is more, ’service’ and suffering are utterly alien to their daily routine, so there is no chance to attack and limit their own pride and self-absorption.
Your column is a tremendous help to us out here and it is so very ironic that it takes someone incarcerated unjustly to have such calm and clear vision.
Dear Father,
My heart aches for you and for the people of God who are deprived of your service at this time of crisis due to the shortage of priests. As I read each of your posts I am moved to prayer for you, but also I am challenged to become a better priest. Perhaps challenged is not the best word. It is more like I am compelled to do what I can to live fully my priesthood.
After my year of persecution, I am now once again free to offer the Sacrifice of the Mass. Please know that I will certainly join you in spiritual communion and will remember you and all persecuted Catholics in every Mass. As Cardinal Dulles helped you “to understand that what has happened to me is not all about me”, so you have done for me. God Bless you, my brother.
Father, I too will try to unite my spiritual communion on Sundays.
BTW, my family and I enjoy Monk on USA. However, this is the last season. But it will probably be syndicated.
God bless,
Father-
I will do my best to unite in prayer with you specifically at that hour on Sundays. Also, thank you for that beautiful prayer from Padre. I will do my best to pray it after communion, and remember you specifically as I pray it.
Be assured of my continued prayers Father.
Hi, Father- your post today at once saddened me and cheered me. Maybe someone could contact Raymond Arroyo at EWTN and tell him about the prison not being able to receive EWTN anymore- I know for my mom, who is pretty much housebound, the morning Mass at EWTN has been a blessing for her! I like RA as well, and Fr. Corapi is amazing too.
And I am so HAPPY that you are able to say Mass again- and Sunday nights- I’ll be right there with you! Thank you!
Oh, and thank you for the Padre Pio prayer- I’m going to copy that for myself and one for my mom. Please keep her in your prayers, Fr., if you remember- her name is Jane.
God bless you, Fr. As always… you have mine.
Dear Father,
I like Bernadette’s “virtual parishoners”. I guess in a way those of us who read this blog have become that. I along with them will unite my Mass to yours on Sundays. I have prayed that prayer of Padre Pio’s often. I also pray the Anima Christi. I prayed this prayer for a friend who was in prison some years ago; it was like covering him with Christ. I will offer that prayer for you as well.
Thank you for these two beautiful posts on the Mass.
My continued prayers.
Julie’s comment about the Mass transcending both time and space is certainly food for thought. However being in the UK like Ros I too would like to know the exact time Fr MacCrae celebrates his Sunday evening Mass and shall be googling today to see if I can find out.
Thank you Father for both these posts on the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass – I am disappointed that there are only two but no doubt you have other words of wisdom to share with your unseen ‘ virtual parishioners’ in future posts which we will all look forward to reading.
Our two countries were linked this week. On Monday I attended Mass at Westminster Cathedral and was able to hear American Deacon Sullivan from Boston USA talk about his miraculous recovery thanks to the prayers of British Cardinal Newman who will be beatified next year.
I have never come across that beautiful prayer by Padre Pio – St Pio as we must now learn to call him – and shall copy it out and put it in my missal. Thank you.
God bless you Father and keep you strong.
Dear Fr. MacRae,
I go back to this part of your post:
“I celebrate Mass on Sunday night at 11:00 pm EST should you ever wish to join me in spiritual communion then.”
I will do my best to unite myself in prayer during that hour, but find it really important to mention that the Mass transcends time and space. This semester I am studying Liturgy and Sacraments, and one of the things that is so profound about the Mass is that it is not limited. I may be attending 8:30 am Mass on a Sunday, but still, there, be united with you in the Mass you have not yet celebrated, simply through the reality of the Liturgy and the Paschal Sacrifice.
The Liturgy, where we are kneeling at the very foot of the Cross itself, there with Christ, is not limited by your prison walls or our time zones or even ability to stay awake at that hour.
Father, we can be with you ANY time we are at Mass, and any time outside of Mass if we but make a Spiritual Communion. On the earthly end, of course we want to be present with you in our same time-bound lives, and so we thank you for your invitation to enter into this great Mystery with you. I hope that with the eyes of Faith, you may look up and see the congregation God has entrusted to you and know that, through you, we are receiving a spiritual Communion. Please know that your own spiritual children are present during your Masses and if it is possible, picture us receiving Our Lord from your hands.
Lex orandi, lex credendi.
God bless you, Father.
Beautiful post Father. It is 5.55am here in the UK. I have been awake for some time. Your words and especially the Padre Pio prayer altered my negative attitude as I begin this day, for the better.
It is such a privilege to read your word Father, they strengthen my own faith, and help me to persevere. I will try and join you spiritually as you say Mass on Sundays, at least for a part. I just need to work out what the time is here in UK at that time.